Peeking At God
A Child's Dream (1971: about 9 & 1/2 yrs. old)
In this dream I was a young girl of about 5 or 6, and I was with a young boy who seemed to be a little older than me. We were in the sky, hiding behind a towering, white cloud. We were very afraid. I remember we were crying as we huddled together. Outlining the edges of the cloud was a blinding light behind it, and this is what we were afraid of. We thought this light was going to burn or even kill us if we looked at it, so we stayed crouched down low, hiding, behind the cloud…holding onto each other, whimpering. We were so frightened! However, we somehow knew that we HAD TO LOOK. We felt like we were there together TO LOOK. It seemed like we were there to discover something secret and important, but we were so scared! Finally, I said to the boy, “I’ll look first. I’m braver than you because I’m a girl and girls are braver. Girls can take more pain than boys because we have babies, so I’ll look first. If it doesn’t hurt me, then you can look.” There was a moment where we stared at each other for a while, not talking, but thinking that if the light killed me, he would be all by himself. Even though the boy was older, I felt the need to protect him. I summoned up all my courage and peeked over the top of the huge white cloud. Do you know what it was? Can you guess what I saw? It was God!!! And of course, it didn’t burn me or hurt me in any way! I just kept staring at it because it was so bright and warm and beautiful. Eventually, the boy stood up with me and we both stared at it, unable to look away from the brilliant, beautiful, white light…but it didn’t hurt us. We were confused and a little angry though, and I remember we thought, why would God want to trick us or scare us? Then, all of a sudden we could make out the face of God. IT WAS THE LIGHT! We could actually see the whole body of God. It looked like Hotei, the God of Happiness! He was holding his huge, round, belly, rocking back and forth, pointing at us, and laughing so hard! Pointing and laughing at us! Instantly, the message was obvious to me and the boy. It was simply to always be able to laugh at yourself and life…even though there are hardships to bear…life was not as difficult and sad as some people would have us believe, and life on Earth was just one part of our existence. Take a chance, be brave, enjoy life, and laugh! God hadn’t tricked us after all; he’d taught us a lesson through a shared experience. He’d given us the secret of life: Don’t take life too seriously; be happy, feel joy, and laugh, laugh, laugh!
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The little boy I was with was Michael. Here I am 48 yrs. old now. The Michael that I’ve referred to in my mind all my life as “my Michael” is gone. I hadn’t thought about that dream for a few yrs. I must say that it is so hard to say good-bye to a lifelong friend. I knew from the first time I ever saw a picture of Michael, when I was 6, that I “recognized” him. I thought to myself, “Oh, it’s you.” I have believed my whole life that I’ve known Michael in the past and will again in the future.
I don’t know if I was his sister, mother, daughter, lover, friend or disciple in other incarnations of our relationship, but we are somehow connected…always and forever. I was a child myself when I had this dream (9/10 yrs. old), and in the dream I am a younger child (5 or 6 yrs.) Even in my dreams, even as a child, I wanted to protect Michael.
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+++ This next dream came 5 months after He left. It's significant for me because 5 is my birth number and I was actually born at exactly 5 pm. (according to my birth certificate)
In The Light
(Nov. 17, 2009)
One last thing: Another reason for my depression was that I had not been remembering any dreams since Michael left. For the first couple months I would wake up crying, but couldn’t remember anything. Finally the nights of crying in my sleep ended, but still hardly any dreams. And, I had absolutely none of Michael. Why was this? I could not understand it. I have always had an active dream life. Many are just regular mundane dreams, but others have been very prophetic. I always try to find meaning in dreams. I believe we can learn from our dreams and receive messages and/or guidance from them. This made me very sad that I could not tap into any relevant dreams about what I was going through. Even worse was when I remembered what Michael said about attracting angels: It was easier when we were happy and free and loving and open. I knew I wasn’t having “real” dreams because my spirit was so dark. My psyche was crumpled up. However, and this is BIG: On Tuesday night (November 17, 2009), the night after I’d had my shooting star epiphany, I had my FIRST dream of Michael since June 25! It was short…..that's my fault: I was walking and it was kind of dark. I was sad and afraid that Michael would never know that I have always loved Him. I could see someone, a man, standing way ahead of me. The person was wearing a loose-fitting, long sleeve, white shirt. He was either wearing black pants, or the shirt was a tunic that went all the way down, I’m not sure. His hair was black and long. I walked up quietly, from behind, not saying anything. He must have known I was there because when I got near, He turned and opened His arms outstretched at each side…to welcome me. There was a bright light behind Him, so I could not clearly make out His face, but I knew it was Michael. I could see the light shining through the curls surrounding His face. I could “feel” Him smiling at me. He was welcoming me into the light. Although it wasn’t my time yet, He was letting me know that He is there in the light. When I realized it was Michael, I was so happy and excited that I woke up! I woke up with Him standing there with arms outstretched for me!!! At first I thought, “Oh no!” Then I just smiled and really knew in my heart I was going to be just fine. He is there, in the light, waiting for us all. He said once that He loved us “From the abyss of His soul.” I now know that He knows that I love Him too, just as He loves me….and us all.
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SLEEPY HEAD
(May 20, 2010)
I don’t know where I was in my dream, but there was a long table with many people sitting at it. Everyone at the table was some male figure who was thought of as being great. They were being honored this night. Most of them were actually Disney characters, all males. As I looked over the table I noticed that sitting right in the middle of everyone was Michael! I thought how sweet this was that Michael had the middle place of honor, among all the characters he loved to mingle with at Disneyland. I could hardly believe that I was looking at Michael! A little later, Michael was standing in front of the table. He seemed a little overwhelmed by all the people mingling around and wanting to get near him. I thought, now is the time. I am going to talk to him. I walked up to him and asked if he wanted to go for a walk. He immediately said yes, and put his hand in mine. I took him outside, as it was an area that I was familiar with. We began to walk, but I noticed that people were beginning to follow us, so I began pulling him along more quickly. I took him through trees and down a path. We were practically jogging to outrun the crowd. Then, we jumped down to a lower level of an embankment along a river. It was an area where my family had a vacation camp. We ducked inside, happy to have lost the followers.
Michael and I sat down on a couch. He seemed so tired to me. He put his head on my shoulder and slowly his eyes closed. I told him that he seemed very sleepy. He said no, that he wasn’t. However, I said to him that it was OK if he was tired, because he never got enough rest. He needed to sleep I told him. Gently, I scooted his head and shoulders down to rest on a pillow in my lap. I told him not to worry because I was here for him; it was OK and he should just sleep. I stroked his soft hair, and his cheek, and watched him peacefully sleeping. I sat there, listening to his calm breathing. I felt so happy to be able to provide him with a safe place to get some much needed rest.
I woke up and could still feel the weight of his body resting against mine. Each time I remembered the dream during the day, my stomach flipped with butterflies. ☺
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Let me first say that I have been feeling the need to withdraw more into myself lately. I am more comfortable keeping my love for Michael personal. For me, it's not so much about "the Michael within", but Michael Himself. All my life I've felt such a strong bond with him, and still I struggle with it. Not a single day goes by that I don't contemplate my feelings about Him now as an adult, when I was still a child, and future lifetimes with him. As much as my love for him has always made me happy, my saddness at losing him still has a very tight grip on me. I've done my own soul searching about it and have come to a couple conclusions. One is that it's ok for me to stop fighting so hard for Michael's reputation. I will always speak his name lovingly to people when given the chance, but the FIGHT is over. Especialy after I had this little dream. In it, Michael gave me permission to let it go. I'm tired of writing letters and signing petitions. I can not force others to see His Light and Love as I do...and it breaks my heart. The other conclusion I came to is that I will Never get over losing him, without ever having the chance to make contact in person during this lifetime. Anyway. I miss him so much, which may sound crazy to some, since I didn't even "know" him in this life. But I know the truth, and it is that our love is ancient and eternal.
"STEPPING BACK"
(Dec. 15, 2010)
***a very frustrating dream, but one with a message just the same***
I was in a room full of people, with Michael. I remember holding his hand and telling all these people, "Look, it's Michael." We received NO reaction from the crowd. "It's Michael Jackson!" I yelled, in disbelief. "Yeah, we know. So what?" This was the general response of the crowd of people. I couldn't believe it! I could not get them to care! I immediately became very sad, and just back-n-forth between Michael and the people. Michael, still holding my hand, looked into my eyes and said, "It's OK. It's OK." This dream left me awake and crying, but I felt like He was telling me that it was OK for me to take a step back...to not take it on as my sole purpose in life to get people to 'see' really see, Michael.
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I know I am being greedy, but I pray to God and Michael every single night that Michael come to me again in a dream. The contact I’ve had with Him during dreams has been so incredible. I realize that it’s not as simple as just calling up a friend to come over for coffee, but I ask for it anyway. Like I said, greedy! Anyone who has had contact with Him, during or after His life on Earth, will know what I am talking about. He is so presentand you are engulfed in His warmth and love…you just cannot possibly help but to crave more. Lately I have been too uptight and closed-up when I sleep, so I know that’s why I have not been having any significant dreams. So anyway, these past couple weeks I have been thinking about angels, the part they play in our lives, and miracles also. I guess that’s why I was open to communication in the dream I had in the wee morning hours of December 1, 2011. Upon close inspection, you can see that it was not an ordinary dream, but another visitation by Sweet Michael. I call this dream Silky Touch.
SILKY TOUCH
(Dec. 1, 2011)
In the dream I was struggling to run along with several other people. We were running to get in line to see Michael. I was having a lot of trouble, limping more than running, also with my arms stiff. The reason I was having trouble was that something horrible had happened to me only days before learning of Michael’s appearance. I don’t know what had happened, but it seems that both of my lower arms and lower legs had been cut off, and then reattached by doctors! There were fresh stitches and raw wounds all over me! I know, yuck! Right? I could not move my arms well, and could hardly walk, let alone run…But just the same I was struggling to reach a large table where rumor had it Michael would be giving autographs.
I wanted so badly to see Him. I finally reached the spot, only to come to the conclusion that I would never be able to stand there all night on my wounded legs, with my wounded arms. I had to leave and go home. My body was so fatigued and in pain. I went home and lay down. I felt as though I was
drugged, and could not keep my eyes open. I fell into a deep sleep, believing that I had just missed an opportunity of a life time, and would now never see Sweet Michael. I went to sleep feeling broken and
sad.
From my sleep, I was awoken by a dark-haired woman who told me that Michael was never supposed to appear for autographs because she reminded me that He was gone. He had passed from this world. It was then that I remembered He was no longer on earth. I asked her if she had seen the book I wrote for Him. I told her that it was all my love and belief in Him that kept me alive. As I was telling her how much I loved Him I began to cry and could no longer speak, so she held me in her arms. I noticed my own legs and arms were not hurting me as before. Next, she asked if she could take a copy of my book to Michael because she said He’d love to have one. I was so surprised and said yes of course! Then she handed me a very small notebook and told me to send a message to Michael. She said for me to write in it “all that I knew.” I opened the tiny book and saw that there were other messages for Michael from other people, short little hellos. I flipped through the pages and saw one empty page ripped in half, but mostly I was checking to see how many blank pages it contained because I knew I wanted to write a lot!
The dark-haired woman let me know that I could write as much as I wanted. I got the feeling that no matter how much I wrote, there would always be available pages. I began writing to Michael all that I knew of my love for Him. When I was done, I gave it to her, feeling happy He would get it, but sad to have never been with Him.
The next thing I know, Michael is right next to me! He is touching me. My arms and legs are completely fine! There is nothing wrong with me at all. I’m not physically broken; I guess I’ve just been so heartbroken that it had felt physical. He lowers me onto a couch and holds me. His fingers on my skin feel silky. Then he says He’s a little chilly, so I go and find a nice fuzzy sweater and fit it around His shoulders. Sitting close to me, He runs a finger through my hair, letting it just slowly slip from His hand. He does this several times, as I just stare into His eyes, His beautiful, soft, loving, dark, eyes. Then He kisses me on the lips, smiles, and we sit together, snuggled on that couch, alone. It’s so peaceful, and quiet, and intimate. No words are necessary. The couch is in the middle of a room that is so full of stuff like furniture, pictures hanging on walls, vases, books, knick-knacks..…Although it seems cluttered, it’s not overwhelming. On the contrary, it feels cozy and protected. I think this room is filled with the many possessions of quite a lot of people, or maybe they are favorite possessions of Michael Himself. That is the
dream…….
PLAYFUL TEASE
(FEB 26, 2012)
This was a short dream, but left me with such happiness and joy when I awoke! Butterflies swirled in my stomach all day long.
In this dream, I was with Michael and I told Him I wanted to help get the world thinking about Him again. He wasn’t too concerned about this, and didn’t really want to do anything. But, I was insistent, so He agreed, but was placating me…as it turned out!
He handed me a stack of bookmark-shaped cardstock items. I looked at the top of
the stack and saw it was a happy photo of Michael. I thought this was perfect, bookmarks, because Michael loved to read! So He stood back, and as people
walked into the room, I handed them a book mark with a smiling Michael on it. I was
so happy to be doing this. Michael was watching me from across the room and
smiling. No one could see Him but me.
After I’d passed out only about 10-15 bookmarks, they became joke bookmarks…no more photos of Michael. I flipped through the stack and saw they were all just various cute jokes! I looked at Michael, puzzled. He was laughing! I went over to Him and asked what was going on. He said that people needed to laugh more than they needed to think about Him. I started to protest, and then He said, “Oh, so you are saying you won’t do this for me?” I looked up into His eyes and told Him that I would do anything for Him! Then, He reached out and took hold of the strings from the hoody I was wearing and pulling them together, twisting them, playfully tying them around my neck, as He pulled me up to His face and kissed me hard on the lips…still laughing! “Good” He said, “Get busy!”
I went back to passing out the bookmarks with jokes on them, and He went back to watching me! I woke up with such a feeling of love and closeness. I wanted to feel that hard kiss again and hear Him laughing. He left me with butterflies that lasted all day!
In this dream, I was with Michael and I told Him I wanted to help get the world thinking about Him again. He wasn’t too concerned about this, and didn’t really want to do anything. But, I was insistent, so He agreed, but was placating me…as it turned out!
He handed me a stack of bookmark-shaped cardstock items. I looked at the top of
the stack and saw it was a happy photo of Michael. I thought this was perfect, bookmarks, because Michael loved to read! So He stood back, and as people
walked into the room, I handed them a book mark with a smiling Michael on it. I was
so happy to be doing this. Michael was watching me from across the room and
smiling. No one could see Him but me.
After I’d passed out only about 10-15 bookmarks, they became joke bookmarks…no more photos of Michael. I flipped through the stack and saw they were all just various cute jokes! I looked at Michael, puzzled. He was laughing! I went over to Him and asked what was going on. He said that people needed to laugh more than they needed to think about Him. I started to protest, and then He said, “Oh, so you are saying you won’t do this for me?” I looked up into His eyes and told Him that I would do anything for Him! Then, He reached out and took hold of the strings from the hoody I was wearing and pulling them together, twisting them, playfully tying them around my neck, as He pulled me up to His face and kissed me hard on the lips…still laughing! “Good” He said, “Get busy!”
I went back to passing out the bookmarks with jokes on them, and He went back to watching me! I woke up with such a feeling of love and closeness. I wanted to feel that hard kiss again and hear Him laughing. He left me with butterflies that lasted all day!
THE HOLY EUCHARIST (5-26-14)
Three nights ago I had an unusual dream. All my dreams, visitations, visions, before this one, actually had Michael there with me. But this time it was stranger. I remember being in an unfamiliar home and having a precious relic in my hands. I was so afraid to break it that I was afraid to put it down. I finally decided to lay it on a table top to look at it. It was a paper thin edible "wafer" of sorts...about 3 inches by 3 inches. The image was of Michael on the ground, sitting back on bent knees, arms outstretched to each side, as he bent so forward, so low, that His long curly hair hung all around His face, and touched the ground. His shirt was white and flowing. I realized it was a Holy Eucharist of Michael. I was stunned. I knew it was meant to be consumed, but I just couldn't. So, I decided to take a photo of it to ask fellow disciples and soldiers of love what to do. I kept trying to get a good photo of it, but any movement I made, caused it to flutter because it was so thin. I thought I'd finally gotten the perfect picture. I put the camera down, and when I turned it was gone. I thought it had fluttered down to the floor...but I never found it. I woke up...I was crying so hard. My pillow was wet. My heart was beating loudly in my chest...I felt empty and foolish for not having consumed it immediately...and the Eucharist of Michael was gone. Was it gone because I hesitated? Was it gone because He did not want a picture of it? Was it gone because I wasn't supposed to be discussing such a private thing with others? I don't know, but I'm still reeling from this dream.
Three nights ago I had an unusual dream. All my dreams, visitations, visions, before this one, actually had Michael there with me. But this time it was stranger. I remember being in an unfamiliar home and having a precious relic in my hands. I was so afraid to break it that I was afraid to put it down. I finally decided to lay it on a table top to look at it. It was a paper thin edible "wafer" of sorts...about 3 inches by 3 inches. The image was of Michael on the ground, sitting back on bent knees, arms outstretched to each side, as he bent so forward, so low, that His long curly hair hung all around His face, and touched the ground. His shirt was white and flowing. I realized it was a Holy Eucharist of Michael. I was stunned. I knew it was meant to be consumed, but I just couldn't. So, I decided to take a photo of it to ask fellow disciples and soldiers of love what to do. I kept trying to get a good photo of it, but any movement I made, caused it to flutter because it was so thin. I thought I'd finally gotten the perfect picture. I put the camera down, and when I turned it was gone. I thought it had fluttered down to the floor...but I never found it. I woke up...I was crying so hard. My pillow was wet. My heart was beating loudly in my chest...I felt empty and foolish for not having consumed it immediately...and the Eucharist of Michael was gone. Was it gone because I hesitated? Was it gone because He did not want a picture of it? Was it gone because I wasn't supposed to be discussing such a private thing with others? I don't know, but I'm still reeling from this dream.
BEETLE of LOVE 6-25-14
THE WINDOW (3-29-15)
This was an interesting dream. I really liked it. I had it in the wee morning hours of my birthday. The same dark-haired woman that was in my dream “Silky Touch,” was with me. I kept telling her that I wanted so much to see Michael. I kept asking her to help me because I missed Him, and wondered if He was alright. Finally, she gestured towards a rectangular shaped object that appeared to my right. It looked like a window, but was opaque. I couldn’t see through it at all. It was a gray, swirly, pattern. I didn’t understand how this solid window was going to help me see Michael. But, as I stared at it, it became completely transparent! It was a window. I was looking down a long banquet table covered in a white tablecloth. The table seemed to be set with a feast. There were no walls…only white… everywhere. Seated at the table along both sides were people talking and laughing, as far as the eye could see…into infinity. Michael was nowhere to be seen, so I kept straining my eyes, trying to look further down the table. All of a sudden I saw Michael right in front of me…only a few persons away. The person sitting on the side of Michael, closest to me, was wearing a puffy, colorful, outfit which obstructed my view of Him. Every now and then Michael rocked back and forth, laughing and talking, and I could get a glimpse of Him. He looked so happy! No one could see me. I had simply been allowed to peek into “heaven.” This dark-haired woman, this angel, had once again brought me to Michael. The last time, I actually got to be with Him…this time she just wanted me to see He was doing fine, and He was happy. I called it heaven because that’s the only way I can describe it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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TRANSPARENT (9-27-15)
I guess it's because of Lunar Sunday (super moon & total eclipse)...'cause I just took a nap, and woke up with tears coming down my cheeks...as I felt like I was falling, falling, falling. I remembered the most perfect little dream with Michael...
THE DREAM: I went to a restaurant where all the proceeds went to preserving animal welfare around the world. This place was huge, wide open, very high ceiling and made of white stone, with large columns...like
an ancient cathedral. The only furniture were long, dark, wooden tables with benches (sort of like picnic tables). On the walls were huge life-like photos of famous people who'd gone there. I saw a photo of some band with their instruments...I didn't recognize. Then I saw a photo of Michael sitting on top of the very table I was nearest too. He was sitting on the table top, with His feet on the bench part. I asked the Maitre'd if I could sit on that table top in exactly the spot Michael sat, so long ago. He said yes. So, I climbed onto the table, and sat in the exact spot...and tears welled in my eyes...and then Michael appeared right with me. He smiled and told me "Hi." I said "Hi, I'm.." He finished my sentence with "Michelle." Then He said, "I know everything about everyone, now that I am 'here.' I realized He was semi-transparent. He scooted His left leg over to touch my right leg...and our thighs and knees simply melded together. My leg went right through His...and I started crying more and began feeling as though I was falling, falling. That's when I woke up! ~~~ I think when He let His body flow into mine, my spirit began 'falling' into His...into Spirit. When I woke up, I had to get right up and walk around. My stomach was flipping, like I'd just ridden a roller coaster. This has never happened before! He has always come to me solid enough to hold or touch. And although I did feel Him even stronger than ever before...it was very different, ...very, very, different. My body is still buzzing all over, and I feel a bit shakey... This experience was unusual...even for my dreams... But, once again, I really needed and wanted Him today...and He came. I think I've been so upset about the clouds and rain probably blocking the moon tonight, that He came to me semi-transparent to make the point that Rita Bosico had told me earlier...even though I might not SEE the moon...the energy was still there...kinda like Michael's body in my dream. His body was partially obscured, but the energy was stronger than ever before!
I guess it's because of Lunar Sunday (super moon & total eclipse)...'cause I just took a nap, and woke up with tears coming down my cheeks...as I felt like I was falling, falling, falling. I remembered the most perfect little dream with Michael...
THE DREAM: I went to a restaurant where all the proceeds went to preserving animal welfare around the world. This place was huge, wide open, very high ceiling and made of white stone, with large columns...like
an ancient cathedral. The only furniture were long, dark, wooden tables with benches (sort of like picnic tables). On the walls were huge life-like photos of famous people who'd gone there. I saw a photo of some band with their instruments...I didn't recognize. Then I saw a photo of Michael sitting on top of the very table I was nearest too. He was sitting on the table top, with His feet on the bench part. I asked the Maitre'd if I could sit on that table top in exactly the spot Michael sat, so long ago. He said yes. So, I climbed onto the table, and sat in the exact spot...and tears welled in my eyes...and then Michael appeared right with me. He smiled and told me "Hi." I said "Hi, I'm.." He finished my sentence with "Michelle." Then He said, "I know everything about everyone, now that I am 'here.' I realized He was semi-transparent. He scooted His left leg over to touch my right leg...and our thighs and knees simply melded together. My leg went right through His...and I started crying more and began feeling as though I was falling, falling. That's when I woke up! ~~~ I think when He let His body flow into mine, my spirit began 'falling' into His...into Spirit. When I woke up, I had to get right up and walk around. My stomach was flipping, like I'd just ridden a roller coaster. This has never happened before! He has always come to me solid enough to hold or touch. And although I did feel Him even stronger than ever before...it was very different, ...very, very, different. My body is still buzzing all over, and I feel a bit shakey... This experience was unusual...even for my dreams... But, once again, I really needed and wanted Him today...and He came. I think I've been so upset about the clouds and rain probably blocking the moon tonight, that He came to me semi-transparent to make the point that Rita Bosico had told me earlier...even though I might not SEE the moon...the energy was still there...kinda like Michael's body in my dream. His body was partially obscured, but the energy was stronger than ever before!
LITTLE MICHAEL (April 15, 2016)
I was in a house and there was a very small child there…about 2 years old. He was frightened and needed comforting. We didn’t know where he came from and he wasn’t talking yet. There were a few people milling around, wondering where his mother or father was. I was cuddling the small child, hugging, kissing, and talking to him.
We then learned that his mother was gone…like no one knew who or where she was. She’d just vanished and this little boy was left wandering around alone. No one knew who his father was either. Then the small boy told me his name was Michael, and I hugged him even tighter! I decided I was going to keep him with me to make sure he was safe.
All of a sudden, a man showed up at the door and said he was the father of the boy. I felt uneasy, but everyone else seemed relieved. They wanted to give the boy to him, but the boy didn’t seem to want to go. The man insisted, and took the boy from me, into his arms, and walked outside with him. I quickly followed, still feeling uneasy, but unable to stop him…and no one else seemed alarmed. The man told the boy to give me a kiss good-bye. I reached for little Michael and he wrapped his arms around my neck and said, “I need you to protect me.” The man pulled Michael away from me, and I was slack-jawed…feeling paralyzed with fright and sadness.
He roughly put the boy into a car seat. I was pacing back-n-forth in the parking lot this whole time…realizing that no one had gotten this man’s name or even where they lived, or how such a small child had gotten lost in the first place! This didn’t feel right.
Just as I made up my mind that this was all a mistake and I had to know more, I started calling out, “Michael! Michael, wait!” The man hopped in the front seat, gunned the motor, and peeled out burning rubber in the parking lot! He got to the road, didn’t even stop at the stop sign, and speeded around the corner…gone.
I could just see little Michael’s face at the window, as I continued to yell His name.
I woke myself up crying, with my heart racing and pounding in my chest…knowing I’d failed Michael.
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You Know Something I Don’t Know
(7-9-16)
This dream took place in my childhood house in Carencro, which I lived in 1st to 6th grade. Here is when I first saw Michael’s photo and ‘recognized’ Him as someone I have always known. This is the first time, in this lifetime, I felt overwhelming love for Him.
I was in this dream as an adult. Michael was there, and other people were there…none I recognized. He and I were in the large living room/dining room combination. We had to go outside because I had something to do in the yard. Michael said He would help me, so we went out the dining room door into the back yard, down the large steps…just as I remember it. I was being too serious for Michael, I guess, because He tossed something on me, like purple paint, or juicy blackberries. I said, oh that’s real funny! He just laughed and laughed…so I laughed a little also, but felt sad instead of happy...and didn't understand why.
We went back into the house into the living room. He wanted to go into another room, and assumed I was following Him. But my feelings were distant and sad because I didn’t feel like I was really invited to follow. I just felt out of place in my own home, or inadequate, or left out.
Before I knew it, I started hearing Him in our Gold Room…which is what we called our play room ‘cause it had gold carpet and curtains. The Gold Room was the room behind the kitchen wall. I could hear Him so clearly laughing. He was being tickled by someone! I could also hear women laughing.
I walked around the kitchen, through the first bedroom, and came into the Gold Room the back way. I saw that Michael was just pulling away from a woman whom had been tickling Him. He threw Himself across the couch onto his back, and looked at me as if to say, “Where have you been?” He gestured for me to go to Him on the couch, but instead, I freaked out and quickly left and went into the back bedroom, which had been my parent’s room.
I was in there feeling so sad, feeling so lost, & feeling so in love with Him, but confused. I was trying to catch my breath, on the verge of bursting into tears, when Michael walked in. He walked over to me and held my arms, as I continued to fight back tears and catch my breath. I didn’t know what was happening! He asked me what was wrong…a couple of times. I told Him that I didn’t know. He finally took me in a tight hug and helped me slow down and steady my breathing. Then Michael spoke quietly into my ear, “You know something I don’t know.”
***** That’s how I woke up…from that tight hug…with those words in my mind. My heart was heavy.
It took several hours of thinking about this dream to understand it. The meaning came all at once. First of all, it took place in the home where I’d first realized I was in love with Michael…a seeming stranger to me…looking from the outside, but an eternal love…feeling from the inside. Although knowing I loved Him at such an early age was amazing. It was also very sad because I realized I’d never be with Him during this life time. It was a confusing time for me. When Michael said that I knew something He didn’t know…He was EXACTLY right. From this very early time in my life I have been in love with Him. I have felt so protective of Him. I have wanted to be with Him to help Him in any way He needed. I knew it, but Michael did not. This very thing was always my biggest regret…that I wasn’t able to hold him and help him through the hard times. This deep pain was born in this house in Carencro when I was between 6&1/2 and 7 years old.
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(7-9-16)
This dream took place in my childhood house in Carencro, which I lived in 1st to 6th grade. Here is when I first saw Michael’s photo and ‘recognized’ Him as someone I have always known. This is the first time, in this lifetime, I felt overwhelming love for Him.
I was in this dream as an adult. Michael was there, and other people were there…none I recognized. He and I were in the large living room/dining room combination. We had to go outside because I had something to do in the yard. Michael said He would help me, so we went out the dining room door into the back yard, down the large steps…just as I remember it. I was being too serious for Michael, I guess, because He tossed something on me, like purple paint, or juicy blackberries. I said, oh that’s real funny! He just laughed and laughed…so I laughed a little also, but felt sad instead of happy...and didn't understand why.
We went back into the house into the living room. He wanted to go into another room, and assumed I was following Him. But my feelings were distant and sad because I didn’t feel like I was really invited to follow. I just felt out of place in my own home, or inadequate, or left out.
Before I knew it, I started hearing Him in our Gold Room…which is what we called our play room ‘cause it had gold carpet and curtains. The Gold Room was the room behind the kitchen wall. I could hear Him so clearly laughing. He was being tickled by someone! I could also hear women laughing.
I walked around the kitchen, through the first bedroom, and came into the Gold Room the back way. I saw that Michael was just pulling away from a woman whom had been tickling Him. He threw Himself across the couch onto his back, and looked at me as if to say, “Where have you been?” He gestured for me to go to Him on the couch, but instead, I freaked out and quickly left and went into the back bedroom, which had been my parent’s room.
I was in there feeling so sad, feeling so lost, & feeling so in love with Him, but confused. I was trying to catch my breath, on the verge of bursting into tears, when Michael walked in. He walked over to me and held my arms, as I continued to fight back tears and catch my breath. I didn’t know what was happening! He asked me what was wrong…a couple of times. I told Him that I didn’t know. He finally took me in a tight hug and helped me slow down and steady my breathing. Then Michael spoke quietly into my ear, “You know something I don’t know.”
***** That’s how I woke up…from that tight hug…with those words in my mind. My heart was heavy.
It took several hours of thinking about this dream to understand it. The meaning came all at once. First of all, it took place in the home where I’d first realized I was in love with Michael…a seeming stranger to me…looking from the outside, but an eternal love…feeling from the inside. Although knowing I loved Him at such an early age was amazing. It was also very sad because I realized I’d never be with Him during this life time. It was a confusing time for me. When Michael said that I knew something He didn’t know…He was EXACTLY right. From this very early time in my life I have been in love with Him. I have felt so protective of Him. I have wanted to be with Him to help Him in any way He needed. I knew it, but Michael did not. This very thing was always my biggest regret…that I wasn’t able to hold him and help him through the hard times. This deep pain was born in this house in Carencro when I was between 6&1/2 and 7 years old.
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CAR RIDE (11-1-17)
I was riding in a car…destination unknown…Michael was driving. I was next to him, and another guy was next to me. There was a young child in a car seat in the back seat…I think a boy. The child was not happy, so I was giving the guy next to me some advice. It seems he was a new parent. He was handling the situation incorrectly. I showed him what to do…it had something to do with a pacifier. He tried it, and it worked! I praised him, and said he’d be a great father after all.
Michael was driving, smiling, not talking. We’d been driving a long time and He needed to stretch His legs, so we pulled over. I told Him He needed to jog around. He handed me something to hold for Him. I stayed in the car, playing with the object. It was a small clear plastic square, flat container. As I moved it around in my fingers, moisture beaded up inside, to form droplets of water rolling around. I could almost make-out what the object was in there, but not quite.
Michael came back, and we walked to a nearby house, and went in. We asked to use the restroom and have some water. There was an elderly couple inside, and they were just getting ready to leave to go for a walk. They told us to come in. Then the elderly man just started staring at Michael. He stared for a while, then said, “Everything you will need, you’ll find in the kitchen.” His wife looked confused, but then they walked out of the house for their walk.
You see, the old man had recognized Michael as an angel. I knew it, and Michael knew it. Michael told me, “He knows he’s going to die out there.” We looked in a kitchen drawer and found names of next to kin…stuff like that. So we could help the sad and scared wife when it all happened. As Michael looked over the information in the little book we’d found, I sat at the breakfast bar. There was a small cake-taker on the counter. When I pressed a lever, it opened to reveal a flat, spicy, fig cake. I pinched a thumbnail-sized bite. It was so good. It reminded me of the cakes my mom makes, and the cakes my grandmothers and great grandmothers used to make. It made me begin to cry. Michael said nothing, but He saw me, and by simply being there next to me, He offered support, and I felt better. I woke from this dream with tears on my face.
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I was riding in a car…destination unknown…Michael was driving. I was next to him, and another guy was next to me. There was a young child in a car seat in the back seat…I think a boy. The child was not happy, so I was giving the guy next to me some advice. It seems he was a new parent. He was handling the situation incorrectly. I showed him what to do…it had something to do with a pacifier. He tried it, and it worked! I praised him, and said he’d be a great father after all.
Michael was driving, smiling, not talking. We’d been driving a long time and He needed to stretch His legs, so we pulled over. I told Him He needed to jog around. He handed me something to hold for Him. I stayed in the car, playing with the object. It was a small clear plastic square, flat container. As I moved it around in my fingers, moisture beaded up inside, to form droplets of water rolling around. I could almost make-out what the object was in there, but not quite.
Michael came back, and we walked to a nearby house, and went in. We asked to use the restroom and have some water. There was an elderly couple inside, and they were just getting ready to leave to go for a walk. They told us to come in. Then the elderly man just started staring at Michael. He stared for a while, then said, “Everything you will need, you’ll find in the kitchen.” His wife looked confused, but then they walked out of the house for their walk.
You see, the old man had recognized Michael as an angel. I knew it, and Michael knew it. Michael told me, “He knows he’s going to die out there.” We looked in a kitchen drawer and found names of next to kin…stuff like that. So we could help the sad and scared wife when it all happened. As Michael looked over the information in the little book we’d found, I sat at the breakfast bar. There was a small cake-taker on the counter. When I pressed a lever, it opened to reveal a flat, spicy, fig cake. I pinched a thumbnail-sized bite. It was so good. It reminded me of the cakes my mom makes, and the cakes my grandmothers and great grandmothers used to make. It made me begin to cry. Michael said nothing, but He saw me, and by simply being there next to me, He offered support, and I felt better. I woke from this dream with tears on my face.
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GENERAL MICHAEL (9-11-17)
*** I feel certain this was a memory of a past life with Michael…too real…no aspects of fantasy at all…brought my heart into my throat with tears in eyes. For days I felt disconnected to my life here.
I was with a large group of people traveling across a landscape of partially barren sandy soil & rocks. There were some woody areas off in the distance in a couple of directions. It was VERY cold & windy at times. We were a group of families, children, and single people also. I was single. Some of us were lay-people, and some were militia families. It seemed like we were trying to get somewhere, avoiding some sort of enemy faction. We had little food and possessions, and no housing materials…nomadic, or sort of on-the-run…in hiding…looking for a better life maybe…? It seemed to be set in a time period like the Civil War. The upper class women wore puffy, more ornate dresses. I wore a very plain dress…almost like a sack dress, or Indian buffalo hide dress. NO woman wore pants.
I remember walking up to a man dressed in a military uniform…the “General” I referred to him. He was obviously the man in charge. He was absolutely beautiful…compassionate, dark, almond-shaped eyes, with longish curly, black hair, and an amazing smile. The man next to him had dirty-blonde, longish hair, rougher features, but pleasant looking and friendly. He was in uniform also, and I referred to him as Sargent. He was second in command. When I walked up to them, the Sargent introduced me to the General. I couldn’t take my eyes off the him. Sargent said, “Yes, he’s a beautiful woman!” He was joking with his friend, the General. They laughed together. Then I said, “No! He is a beautiful man. A man can be beautiful, and he is so beautiful.” I then turned to the Sargent, not to hurt his feelings, and said, “You are good-looking also. But the General is beautiful.” The General would just stare at me and smile. He seemed to have a beauty not of this world.
FLASH to: Me and the General walking along side by side across the sandy barren land, looking at the group he was with…no fire pit, no shelter for the kids…no food. I looked back at the group I’d been walking with. We had a fire going…a pile of broken limbs for firewood. Plus, we’d found a large wooden crate, open on one side which we used to keep the kids warm at night. We had our camp set up on the side of a natural wind break in the uneven land, where a low-lying ledge had formed in the terrain. I suggested to him that we combine our 2 groups to better survive. He looked at me, a little surprised that not only a woman had come up with this idea but was also presuming to suggest it to a General. *** In this dream I was more of a peasant person, poorer than some of the people here.
FLASH to: Me breaking down my camp and carrying it all, mostly by myself, but with a little help from my camp members, over to the area of the militia camp. I carried the huge wooden crate, plus 2 other items in my arms. The crate was almost too heavy for me, but I wanted to impress the General. When I got to their camp, I looked around for him, and saw that he was deep in conversation with some men and militia. He never saw me set up the new camp. I was disappointed.
FLASH to: Me asking where the General had been gone to. Me being told that he’d been away fighting, and had sustained a serious wound and was in a coma! I was so sad, and my heart was in my chest. But I felt determined to keep him alive. I insisted that he be put in the large wooden crate at night with the children, to keep him warm. I said that he was our leader and HAD to get better! We needed him desperately, or at least I did.
FLASH to: Me helping a young girl learn to look for nuts and seeds and build a mud burm on the windy side of the camp. Then me talking with a woman in a beautiful cream-colored, long, puffy dress. I was holding my knife as we talked, and gesturing with it. She got upset and would not allow her daughter to come with me. She made the young girl go to sleep. She scolded me for my boyish behavior. I yelled at her that I had been raised an orphan, and ALL orphans needed to know how to take care of themselves! I stomped away. Perhaps I was worried about the General’s young daughter becoming an orphan herself, if he should die in the war. (Apparently this woman & young girl were his family.)
FLASH to: The General, recovered now, and walking side by side with me again. I told him how I’d made the camp, and brought the crate, and had him kept in it for warmth, and would sleep against the outside of it to block the wind and add warmth from my body. He chuckled at me condescendingly, and said, “I’m sure you didn’t do this for me.” Because I was a woman…obviously. I turned to his Sargent and said, “Tell him.” The Sargent then described how I really was the one that saved his life by keeping him from freezing to death, and giving his body a few days to heal. He explained how I go into the distant woods every day to forage for nuts, seeds, and any food stuff, and that each day I had to go further to look. He said to him, “The toasted acorns you are eating right now are because of her.” The General stared at me amazed, and with a sort of disbelief, because the women he’d been traveling with, and was married to, did nearly nothing.
FLASH to: The General fussing with his cream-colored puffy wife because he was watching his daughter’s unbecoming behavior … “playing” in the mud, and he blamed his wife for not watching her closely enough. She defended herself by saying that she was tired, and had put the girl to bed. With raised voice he said, “No look at her! She is pulling out God’s plants and putting them on a pile of mud!” ***The young girl had made a mound of mud at the river’s edge, and was talking to herself, like a prayer. She was saying things about adding God’s plants, as she spaced out tiny plants, so that God would see us and take care of us. Then she’d go get a handful of one kind of seed and sprinkle them. Then another kind of seed to sprinkle, while talking about having things to grow with God’s plants for us all.
FLASH to: Me, as I watched and listened from a distance, at this happening before everyone’s eyes and ears. The General slowly began to actually listen to his daughter’s words…so sweet and reverent. He began to not only soften, he began to admire her, and love her more. He, all of a sudden, realized who had taught her this reverence for God, and how to plant seeds for food to help her people…it had been me. He looked over at me, and we just stood there staring at each other. His eyes told me that he loved and respected me. But we both knew we’d never be together in this lifetime. We both stood there watching his little daughter and listening to her song to God. He had tears in his eyes as he stared at me.
*** I woke up crying.
*** I know the General from my dream was Michael: the kind, sensitive, dark, almond-shaped eyes. The deep, methodical, way of moving and doing. The curly black hair. The absolute beauty, and sweet, all-knowing smile. And, Michael did like dressing in military garb a lot. I do call Him my Soul Warrior. He called us His Soldiers of Love.
*** I know this is a memory of one of the lives we knew we shared. And, were in love. I felt the truth of it in the pit of my stomach.
*** I feel certain this was a memory of a past life with Michael…too real…no aspects of fantasy at all…brought my heart into my throat with tears in eyes. For days I felt disconnected to my life here.
I was with a large group of people traveling across a landscape of partially barren sandy soil & rocks. There were some woody areas off in the distance in a couple of directions. It was VERY cold & windy at times. We were a group of families, children, and single people also. I was single. Some of us were lay-people, and some were militia families. It seemed like we were trying to get somewhere, avoiding some sort of enemy faction. We had little food and possessions, and no housing materials…nomadic, or sort of on-the-run…in hiding…looking for a better life maybe…? It seemed to be set in a time period like the Civil War. The upper class women wore puffy, more ornate dresses. I wore a very plain dress…almost like a sack dress, or Indian buffalo hide dress. NO woman wore pants.
I remember walking up to a man dressed in a military uniform…the “General” I referred to him. He was obviously the man in charge. He was absolutely beautiful…compassionate, dark, almond-shaped eyes, with longish curly, black hair, and an amazing smile. The man next to him had dirty-blonde, longish hair, rougher features, but pleasant looking and friendly. He was in uniform also, and I referred to him as Sargent. He was second in command. When I walked up to them, the Sargent introduced me to the General. I couldn’t take my eyes off the him. Sargent said, “Yes, he’s a beautiful woman!” He was joking with his friend, the General. They laughed together. Then I said, “No! He is a beautiful man. A man can be beautiful, and he is so beautiful.” I then turned to the Sargent, not to hurt his feelings, and said, “You are good-looking also. But the General is beautiful.” The General would just stare at me and smile. He seemed to have a beauty not of this world.
FLASH to: Me and the General walking along side by side across the sandy barren land, looking at the group he was with…no fire pit, no shelter for the kids…no food. I looked back at the group I’d been walking with. We had a fire going…a pile of broken limbs for firewood. Plus, we’d found a large wooden crate, open on one side which we used to keep the kids warm at night. We had our camp set up on the side of a natural wind break in the uneven land, where a low-lying ledge had formed in the terrain. I suggested to him that we combine our 2 groups to better survive. He looked at me, a little surprised that not only a woman had come up with this idea but was also presuming to suggest it to a General. *** In this dream I was more of a peasant person, poorer than some of the people here.
FLASH to: Me breaking down my camp and carrying it all, mostly by myself, but with a little help from my camp members, over to the area of the militia camp. I carried the huge wooden crate, plus 2 other items in my arms. The crate was almost too heavy for me, but I wanted to impress the General. When I got to their camp, I looked around for him, and saw that he was deep in conversation with some men and militia. He never saw me set up the new camp. I was disappointed.
FLASH to: Me asking where the General had been gone to. Me being told that he’d been away fighting, and had sustained a serious wound and was in a coma! I was so sad, and my heart was in my chest. But I felt determined to keep him alive. I insisted that he be put in the large wooden crate at night with the children, to keep him warm. I said that he was our leader and HAD to get better! We needed him desperately, or at least I did.
FLASH to: Me helping a young girl learn to look for nuts and seeds and build a mud burm on the windy side of the camp. Then me talking with a woman in a beautiful cream-colored, long, puffy dress. I was holding my knife as we talked, and gesturing with it. She got upset and would not allow her daughter to come with me. She made the young girl go to sleep. She scolded me for my boyish behavior. I yelled at her that I had been raised an orphan, and ALL orphans needed to know how to take care of themselves! I stomped away. Perhaps I was worried about the General’s young daughter becoming an orphan herself, if he should die in the war. (Apparently this woman & young girl were his family.)
FLASH to: The General, recovered now, and walking side by side with me again. I told him how I’d made the camp, and brought the crate, and had him kept in it for warmth, and would sleep against the outside of it to block the wind and add warmth from my body. He chuckled at me condescendingly, and said, “I’m sure you didn’t do this for me.” Because I was a woman…obviously. I turned to his Sargent and said, “Tell him.” The Sargent then described how I really was the one that saved his life by keeping him from freezing to death, and giving his body a few days to heal. He explained how I go into the distant woods every day to forage for nuts, seeds, and any food stuff, and that each day I had to go further to look. He said to him, “The toasted acorns you are eating right now are because of her.” The General stared at me amazed, and with a sort of disbelief, because the women he’d been traveling with, and was married to, did nearly nothing.
FLASH to: The General fussing with his cream-colored puffy wife because he was watching his daughter’s unbecoming behavior … “playing” in the mud, and he blamed his wife for not watching her closely enough. She defended herself by saying that she was tired, and had put the girl to bed. With raised voice he said, “No look at her! She is pulling out God’s plants and putting them on a pile of mud!” ***The young girl had made a mound of mud at the river’s edge, and was talking to herself, like a prayer. She was saying things about adding God’s plants, as she spaced out tiny plants, so that God would see us and take care of us. Then she’d go get a handful of one kind of seed and sprinkle them. Then another kind of seed to sprinkle, while talking about having things to grow with God’s plants for us all.
FLASH to: Me, as I watched and listened from a distance, at this happening before everyone’s eyes and ears. The General slowly began to actually listen to his daughter’s words…so sweet and reverent. He began to not only soften, he began to admire her, and love her more. He, all of a sudden, realized who had taught her this reverence for God, and how to plant seeds for food to help her people…it had been me. He looked over at me, and we just stood there staring at each other. His eyes told me that he loved and respected me. But we both knew we’d never be together in this lifetime. We both stood there watching his little daughter and listening to her song to God. He had tears in his eyes as he stared at me.
*** I woke up crying.
*** I know the General from my dream was Michael: the kind, sensitive, dark, almond-shaped eyes. The deep, methodical, way of moving and doing. The curly black hair. The absolute beauty, and sweet, all-knowing smile. And, Michael did like dressing in military garb a lot. I do call Him my Soul Warrior. He called us His Soldiers of Love.
*** I know this is a memory of one of the lives we knew we shared. And, were in love. I felt the truth of it in the pit of my stomach.
